"...So you can see my bra underneath my shirt
Watch the wind underneath my skirt
But that ain’t the picture it’s just a part
Everybody’s got a story that could break your heart

See my eyes, don’t see what I see
Touch my tongue, don’t know what tastes good to me
It’s the human condition that keeps us apart
Everybody’s got a story that could break your heart..."

-Everybody's Got a Story by Amanda Marshall

    I'm sure that anyone and everyone that has ever drawn a breath or has a heartbeat has a story. Whether their life is a love story, sob story or an unfolding epic, at some point there is a chapter about heartbreak. I could be about losing someone, an accident, a breakup, an addiction or just an overall breakdown that has made us or will make us into who we are. 

The question that I have is: Is it a bad thing to tell it?

    I'm a very empathetic and sensitive person (I decorate the back of the Christmas tree as much as the front because I feel bad for it) who's had they're share of hard times. But I feel bad for the ones I talk about it to whether it's my sister, boyfriend, or even my therapist. I feel like I'm unloading on them, whining in fact. I have friends that are drama queens and I know the irritation of hearing the same story over and over again. But I also feel the urging need to talk about things that people have often heard before. It makes me feel better to talk about it rather than keeping it in like I used to. And often times the thing that bothers me most about things that happened months ago is that fact that it still bothers me. Does that even make sense?

    Sometimes I also feel that I don't deserve to be depressed. I'm like those guilt-tripping mothers who tell you to finish your brocolli because kids in Sudan are starving. I've met many people who've been through far worse thing than I have and I feel guilty for even being depressed at all. Somehow this makes me feel worse.. I'm strange..

So I ask all of you who are reading this even if you don't care for my style of writing, Is it whiny to talk about things that happened to you even if you feel you need to? What's your story?

For the last 4-5 days I've been stuck in my house because of all the snow and I feel like I'm slowly going insane. Winter blues/cabin fever + clinical anxiety/depression= Not a good mental state to be in. There have been times lately when I thought Jack Nicholson in the Stanly Kubrick's "The Shining" was a perfectly sane citizen compared to the feelings towards my family I've bottled up recently   (That's obviously an exaggeration but not necessarily a big one. I'm just another teenager with anger towards the world.). I've done very well at avoiding SI but just barely. Missing my boyfriend who's gone back to his school 14 hours away has been harder on me that usual this time around. So in my mind the list of things I could/wanted to do was something like this:

1. Self injure? Stay the hell away from sharp objects you twit. (I have a 5 month streak going and I don't want to break it.
   
2. Talk to the boyfriend (tried that but Facebook lied to me and said he was online when he wasn't.)
3. Sit on Facebook and do nothing (that helped alot)
4. Watch funny videos on YouTube (there are only so many idiotic AFV videos one can take)
5. Curl up in a cornor of your room and think about things you shouldn't (been there done that)
6. Try to be a Van Gogh or Francis Bacon and paint (somehow it made me feel worse...)
7. Do something new